Who Are You Anyway?

Patients in the hospital need to be seen everyday by an attending physician (I believe the assignation “attending” comes from the idea that the doctor is “attending” to a patient’s health or care). Rounding is the name of this activity which requires me to go around and see the patients for whom I care either directly or as a consultant. During the weekdays, I am just one of a half dozen or more people who would come in to see the patient. On the weekends rounding is almost a solitary activity, occasionally punctuated with conversation with nurses or residents.

Today was a bit different. I went to see a consult and after examining the child’s eyes for evidence of whether his sinus infection had cleared enough that he could go home, I told the family that I would recommend to their pediatrician that he be discharged home today. Just as we were finishing the conversation, in walks Dr. Lisa, their pediatrician! Dr. Lisa and I had spoken on the phone, occasionally seen each other from afar, but hadn’t met face to face in years and years. It was nice to see her today, both of us relaxed and unhurried.

We both agreed that he could go home. I received her permission to write a prescription for the nasal spray I prefer (yes, there are many protocols in medicine, and most do have a reason). As mother and I spoke while Dr. Lisa spoke to Alex, she told me she had a different name from Alex’s because she had kept both her names upon marriage. I laughed as I told her that I did, too, and could relate to the confusion this situation could bring.

Mom is a professional musician, a French horn player. She was also in the process of getting another degree in geology when she married. She didn’t want to lose her name and her identity, especially in the music world. I told her that I was only engaged when I graduated from medical school and was told by my father that he really wanted a “Dr. Brodsky” in the family, so that was that for me (I really didn’t think to protest at all).

Dr. Lisa chimed in and said she had the same situation. So we all laughed and agreed that although switching back and forth might seem to be a challenge, in reality, it kept us intact and integrated into the many “lifes” that modern women take on today. And we all agreed that occasionally hiding behind our non-professional name made it easier to escape from the constant and sometimes overwhelming expectations of professional women with multiple other roles.

So who are we anyway? We all agreed each of us were both people. Often very different people, housed in the same person, living one life. Compartmentalization for men is made easy and natural, because many of the roles they would or could assume are handled by a spouse, even one who is likely to work.

For a woman it is much more complicated and demanding, but I think compartmentalization may be a very helpful way to immerse oneself in the many different roles with the least amount of guilt and greatest gratification. And your thoughts?