Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, writes a book and creates a program encouraging women in business to Lean In, to take risks, to move their careers by overcoming their own internalization of gender stereotypes that keep us down. Heavy press follows, and with it an (un)fair share of criticism. Jody Greenstone Miller, in the Wall Street Journal, re-frames the problem as a misdiagnosis of what women need. They need better scheduling and more time. Valid point, short on concrete ideas. Sandberg trumps Miller. What’s wrong with this picture?
While at Yahoo, CEO Marissa Mayer, has a problem to solve. Mayer, another high profile woman executive, is burdened with the mantle of representing the needs of all women. So when she makes a tough decision to limit telecommuting at Yahoo, she gets blasted by feminists as not bearing the flag for their scheduling needs. She is vilified.
What chutzpah Mayer has! She is doing the job she was hired to do. Be a visionary leader. Identify and solve a crisis in community at Yahoo. Believe that building community comes only from when people play off one another’s creative juices in person, up close and in your face.
Mayer is also right. Creativity is stifled when that layer of technology, however clever, is superimposed on the workplace. The time around the cooler, the tension in the room where an idea is being born, and the opportunity to look someone in the eye and make them look back at you and feel how the rest of the group is playing off and building on that moment, have no substitutes.
Mayer’s solution–get everyone back at the mothership to save the company. Don’t tarry over the “maybe we could let this person do this and that person do that” to appease. Too easy to lose her focus on the goal. And whether you agree or not, she makes the decisions and takes the responsibility. That’s a leader from whom we could and should learn, both women and men.
With all this controversy, where does that leave this special group, “women who work in the professional world?” Should we all train to “lean in” so we further our careers? Should we demand schedule flexibility? Should we protest doing our job the way the CEO strongly believes it needs to be done?
All three of these women have the right idea. They all have valuable lessons to teach women and men who want a fully engaged and highly productive workforce. So in the professional working woman’s world, where women have enough challenges and barriers, from gender bias to gender pay gaps, throwing cold water on the legitimate efforts of others is an enormous waste of time and energy.
This new wave of feminism, need not be all about the right answers, but about the right questions. How can we “lean in” to lead better? Thank you Sandberg for asking and giving us such a great platform for that one. How can we re-model the workplace to work for women? Kudos to Miller for staking out that issue. And how do we support leaders who make difficult decisions, especially when they are women who have made them, and don’t conform to new feminist ideas or style? Good move Mayer, you are a role model for women who must take a gutsy though unpopular stance.
The real winner is…..women who can learn from anyone willing to get up and lead and teach and share. The world is a big enough place for lots of champions. Take your pick, or take them all.
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4 Comments
So agree with you. There is not one formula. Women have to do what works for them at the moment. I took two weeks off after the birth of each daughter and post each C-section. I was sorry I didn’t have more time at home but, it was my own practice/business and I wanted to keep the boat afloat. I kept my hours limited but, I was there and my business did not suffer as a result. This brought me greater peace of mind and sense of control than closing shop for 2 months. Most importantly, my children don’t remember and didn’t seem to suffer. I had enough support at home in the form of help and a husband. 6-8 weeks off seems like a wonderful luxury if you can get it but, it’s not always possible. I don’t resent not having more time. I made a choice and a sacrifice that I was comfortable making. In life we all need to sometimes. I was there to bond with my children but not every moment of the day. It felt like running bases but, it was my choice and I was incredibly productive during that time. Having three daughters I feel obliged to show my daughters that you can choose a career that challenges and fufills you and still be a good, connected and an involved mother. Each situation is so individualized and I think women need to support eachother and recognize that what works for some might be different than for others and just respect that.
thank you so much for your comment. I did the same thing you did. I went back a little at a time. And my kids, all grown, are just fine. And I have to say, it kept me from having post-partum depression (the blues far-gone). Yes, we need to find more and better ways to be supportive to each other. Hope you will go to http://www.womenmdresources.com for women physicians to help support each other.
Linda - I love your blog, but I have to respectfully disagree here. Enough with the mommy wars. Marissa made her choice, Sheryl made her choice, they have a bully pulpit to tell everyone else about how they did it. I’m an anesthesiologist and I’m quitting my job to take care of my kids. I’m leaning out OK? Why are we still talking about this?
Hi Shirie. Thanks for reading. I don’t think we are in disagreement. Everyone has a legitimate point of view. But unless we listen to each other’s experiences, we cannot overcome barriers and challenges unseen and/or unacknowledged.
I wonder why you, an anesthesiologist, someone who can work a flexible schedule (as a surgeon with many anesthesiologist friends I think I can say that with reasonable certainty), would give it ALL up? What kinds of conflicts made you feel you have to choose to LEAN out? Why not do both, on your own terms?
I spend a lot of my time helping women physicians create work life integration so a both/and not an either/or life can be achieved. Hope you will visit us on http://www.womenmdresources.com
And if you choose to leave years of training and a potentially rewarding career to raise your kids, remember, someday they grow up and you will be left with less choice than you might otherwise have. Good luck. I wish you only the best.
Linda