The Zen of Flexibility—Transform Your Life and Your Work

It’s time to turn yourself inward and find the flexibility you need to integrate all aspects of your life. And to do it, you are going to need lots of help.

What kind of help? That depends on what you are doing. Since I have been writing about the career and decisions of the academic physician (as that is, quite frankly, what I know best), let’s focus on that. But keep in mind that no matter what it is you do in life, exercises in self-exploration and improvement will be invaluable to transforming your life and your work.

Get yourself help—in the workplace and in the home—as often as you can. Your once-limited time and resources become limitless if you allow yourself to get help.

Help at Work. Make sure you have adequate staff support and other resources necessary to be successful. When the women scientists at MIT found that they had smaller labs and fewer assistants than did the men, they demanded a change. And they got it. Do you have an office? Does the space work well for your responsibilities and needs? Is your schedule efficient and conducive to optimal productivity? Do you have enough staff support—nurses, research assistants, and secretarial help? What about information technology resources? Do you have a laptop which can link you to the library, your charts and the office no matter where you might choose to do your work?

Don’t be afraid to articulate and negotiate your needs. If the answer is, “No one else has that,” don’t give up. If your institution or organization is unwilling to give the matter some thought and try to be flexible, maybe it is not supportive enough of its staff members, particularly the women. Unyielding and inflexible demands of work that unquestionably and needlessly prevent you from integrating your life/work, likely will be considered “gender unfriendly”. Paying attention to these details and insisting on a flexible and manageable environment will make the difference between success and failure.
The concept of support staff and resources also carries over to your home. Women often complain that their husbands do not do enough at home. I take a different view: If a husband, like his wife, is working hard all day, why should he then come home and have to work hard some more? If I don’t want to do the dishes, clean the house, or mow the lawn, why should he?

Engage a wonderful person to help. I know of no better way to gain flexibility in life than to integrate other wonderful people to help with child care, and housekeeping, and errands, and anything else that you really don’t have the desire, or the time or the energy to do. Here are two suggestions to start you on your way.

If you’re lucky enough to live near family (and want them to be an integrated part of your life), involve them in your life. If you’re not near family but you should look to hire someone to help, not just with the kids, but for you, too. It may be more cost effective to have someone in your home than to pay for daycare, especially if your work hours are unpredictable. Work hard to find the right fit because when you do (and we have been lucky three times in 28 years), your newly-inducted family member can relieve you of stressors and provide you with more free time for whatever you want to do.

My mantra is “who can help?” Think about it. Do you really need to do everything yourself? Let go, find inner peace and begin your practice of the zen of flexibility.